The Ego

A question I get asked quite frequently is where did I go to art school? The answer is that I didn't;  I pursued a career as an artist by alternative means. My path began with welding, working for an established artist (who would turn out to be an invaluable mentor) for nearly a decade, and has continued with a commitment to self-educate. This has led me to proudly embrace an identity as a self-taught artist. As a title, it serves its purpose, and it is begotten from a path that many artists have taken. Recently though, I’ve been thinking that maybe it isn't the best term, or maybe the term just isn’t always understood in the modern way we now use it. I believe this because of my own experiences- this path that led me to being a self-taught artist, including all the mistakes along the way. I strongly think a proper understanding of what it means to be self-taught is vital to success as an artist who doesn't go to art school.

Ultimately, it is not so much the term itself but rather the attitude behind it that is crucial. The major issue at hand is that of the ego. This issue affects the self taught artist and the student of an academy equally. I have no experience with the latter so I can only speak vicariously about that perspective but in the end it doesn't matter which path an aspiring artist chooses, the ego can plague both. On one hand is the potential for isolation or getting caught in one's own head (as I have directly experienced) and on the other is a certain attitude of superiority or prestige. I think we’ve all seen examples of both and (hopefully) the destructive potential they have.

I should note that I am not arguing for a total undoing of the ego. Maybe I should distinguish what I see as a difference between pride and confidence as both elements of the ego. It might help to picture the ego as a child that is mature and respectful vs one that is spoiled rotten. We are dealing with something that represents the individual. The ego being the mindset of the individual is necessary, especially for artists since this very same ego is often the driving force that pushes artists toward a very difficult career path, but the ego is a double edged sword. A properly oriented (mature) ego exudes confidence and solidarity while an unbalanced (spoiled) ego is either inflated or crushed. A crushed ego isn’t so much my focus here but its worth noting that all expressions of unchecked ego stem from insecurities of some type and I do believe this plays a part in why people become artists to begin with. For whatever reasons, artists need to speak through alternative, creative means, and therefore the ego is so uniquely tied to being an artist. 

If artists are so uniquely tied to the ego then it only makes sense that a healthy, mature ego is absolutely necessary for success. The answer to maturing the ego has to do first with recognizing the unchecked ego within ourselves. The irony is that our modern culture teaches us some very wrong ideas about artists that I think hinder our ability to mature the ego. We are taught that to be an artist is to be a self expressive individual, right? We see this expressed very often through positively stereotyping artists as having very eccentric egos and participating with art strictly as pure individual expression. We could reframe this as the individual is the driving force for artists. I have never met a successful artist in life that mirrors this cultural portrayal. That's not to say that artists aren't eccentric, for they absolutely are, but instead I have found that successful artists actually submit their ego to something beyond the individual.

We must make sense of the ego, or individual, in connection to its counterpart; the external or relational, for this is what grounds it. We live in two worlds essentially, our internal world and the external one. These are two parts to a whole that cannot be separated. Submission and sacrifice are the elements that tie together multiple individuals and thus we get the external/relational. Artists have so much power because they live in a strange dynamic of being hyper sensitive to both. If artists are taught to only focus on the one (individual expression) we lose our power as artists. 

Consider the individual and the relational perspectives as opposing ends to a bow, strung together but fighting against each other. This creates potential. Artists are deeply individualistic by nature but it isn't until they step into a relationship with something beyond themselves that they truly find power in their art. Essentially, the ego (individual) is expressed under the authority of something beyond itself, not the other way around. Artists often will explain their process as an act of “surrendering to the process.” This by far is not a foreign idea to most of us but I fear we neglect to consider the weight of it.

Here is where art school shines in my opinion, by providing an environment of both individual and communal relation, so long as the students (or even teachers) don't over elevate their individual status. In a culture that favors one sided, individualism the self taught path has greater potential for isolation and only means that the aspiring artist must be all the more diligent in seeking the instruction they need. Either way, both are submitting to the instruction of someone. A willingness to embrace this humility is going to be key to success. To sum all of this up I might advise to adopt a mentality to always remain a student. I wouldn’t trade my self taught path for anything but as I grow as an artist I see more and more the importance of this submissive role that is required of all of us, and especially artists.

An ending note:

I intend to dive deeper into these themes in posts to come. I am going to outline what it means to sacrifice or submit, how to maintain a student mentality, and so much more. I truly believe that these ideas are foundational to becoming a great artist and I understand they are not easy, especially when we are taught that things like submission are negative or bad.